What If This Was Meant to Be Good News?
Curt Skene’s In2Win! Career Coaching Supplement.
No one knows why bad things happen but everyone knows they do. Being terminated is just part of business—you aren’t really expected to agree with it. Being in transition is just one of the many “bumps” you may experience in your life. However, how you deal with it can make all the difference in the world. No company is worth the energy it takes to prove them wrong or recognize the error in their ways.
It’s not what is lost that matters but what you gain from the experience. So ask yourself honestly what you can learn from this? The best approach is to focus on the belief that everything happens for good reason, so start looking for positive reasons why this happened to you. Did you need a wakeup call and this is it? Were you bored and needed a push to refocus yourself?
Was it simply time to do something different? Just know that almost everyone who experiences career transition comes out of it in a better place. Take the time to uncover the lessons and turn this into a positive learning experience. By focusing on the positive you keep your energy high, your spirits soaring and you fuel yourself with great insights for your next steps. You can also keep things in perspective by reminding yourself of the positives in your life such as family, friends, loved ones and good health.
It’s human nature to give bad news too much attention so strangle it with all the good that surrounds you. Finally, if you need help—get it! You will never project confidence and passion if your inner self isn’t whole.
Stop spending energy trying to make an imperfect business decision feel fair or logical. Put that energy into what comes next.
Why I Wrote This Page
Because it’s one of the most common things I see in my coaching: people staying stuck in the anger and blame stage far longer than they realize. They know intellectually they should move on, but they haven’t actually reframed what happened for themselves yet.
Here’s what most people get backwards: they think the job loss itself is what determines how they feel. It isn’t. Two professionals can lose the identical role for the identical reason, and one will spiral for six months while the other is back on their feet in three weeks. The difference isn’t the event, it’s the story each of them tells themselves about what it means. One says “this proves I’m not good enough.” The other says “this proves it’s time for something better.” Same facts, completely different trajectory, because the story is what your brain actually reacts to, not the event.
In my coaching, the fastest way to tell who’s going to land quickly is how fast they let go of “why did this happen to me” and move to “what do I do now.” The first question has no useful answer and just keeps you circling. The second is the only one that actually moves you forward.
Action Steps
- Write down the story you’re currently telling yourself about why this happened. Then write an alternative story that’s equally true but points forward instead of backward. Read the second one daily until it feels more natural than the first.
- Give yourself a real deadline to stop relitigating what happened, then hold yourself to it. Grieving the loss is fine. Getting stuck in it for months isn’t.
- Find one person who’s been through this and landed well. Ask them exactly what they told themselves in the first two weeks, and borrow their story until you build your own.
In2Win! Afterthought
Curt’s current observations and updated guidance will be added here.
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