Are You Good at Taking Advice From Others?
Curt Skene’s In2Win! Career Coaching Supplement.
It’s a simple rule. Those who land first often listen best. By this I mean filter what you hear and act on what makes the best sense for you. Taking advice from others can be a double-edged sword because some advice will be right for you, and some not.
Even more challenging—sometimes you may not be the best judge of what advice is right for you. If you are unsure, find a sounding board of trusted mentors and friends who have proven they have a desire to help you. If certain advice isn’t sitting right it may make sense to “sleep on it” and give yourself time to massage your thinking and remove any emotions that may be clouding your perception. Solicit advice but at the same time don’t ask too many people or you will surely get confused.
Look for consistency in the feedback you receive. If you hear the same message over and over there is a good chance there is truth in what’s being said. Seek out people who think differently than you. Learn to respect their differences as they can often lead you to a new perspective, challenge your ideas and help ensure you have thought everything through.
Train yourself to be brilliant at identifying those who are in your life to offer genuine assistance and those who are there just because they like to be heard. Finally, because people get tired of helping the ungrateful, always show your appreciation. Say “thanks” whether or not you plan on using their advice. Having an attitude of gratitude will also help to lift your spirits.
Useful guidance may come from unexpected people. Stay open enough to recognize it.
Why I Wrote This Page
Because most advice is noise, not signal, and learning to tell the difference is one of the most underrated skills in a job search.
The real signal shows up when people who don’t know each other, and have no reason to compare notes, independently tell you the same thing. That’s worth paying attention to. A single strong opinion from one well-meaning friend usually isn’t, no matter how confidently it’s delivered.
The professionals who navigate advice well aren’t the ones who take everything they’re told. They’re the ones who quietly track patterns across many conversations and act only when the same theme keeps showing up.
Action Steps
- Keep a simple running list of advice you receive. After a few weeks, look for what keeps repeating, that’s your signal.
- When advice conflicts, don’t just pick the version you like better. Ask the person why they believe it, the reasoning tells you more than the conclusion.
- Always thank people for advice, even the advice you don’t use. People stop offering it to those who seem ungrateful.
In2Win! Afterthought
Curt’s current observations and updated guidance will be added here.
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